paperscout: ((x) wrist; "stay true to your <3")
Earlier this week, someone on f!s asked why people want the "friendships forged through fire" or whatever, like in movies and TV and stuff. They said they'd had those and they didn't last. I'm inferring that it's because the situation was forced, and obviously wasn't permanent (like, for instance, fighting vampires and constantly trying to save the world would be permanent). I had no answer for them. 
"I'm waking up at the start of the end of the world,
but it's feeling just like every other morning before.
Now I wonder what my life is gonna mean if it's gone."

Later, I realized they were right. Totally right. Everything always has to be about decisions. People have to make choices. That's what really determines who you are. If your decisions aren't really optional, and you do things purely out of desperation and necessity, whatever comes out of that won't last. You don't really see that in the span of 90 minutes.

"The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour,
and I started staring at the passengers and waving goodbye.
Can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?"

It makes me glad my desperation is rare. It's never situation-based. Ever. I used to want it to be. I used to think that would make things -- me, even -- better. Stronger. But I think I've finally realized -- it won't. And more than that, it doesn't matter. The things that are real, and that matter, will happen the way they should. There can be magic in real life, we just have to notice it when it comes around.

"But I believe the world is burning to the ground.
Oh well, I guess we're gonna find out.
Let's see how far we've come.
Let's see how far we've come."

I think there are certain things every person searches for, to different degrees of awareness. And some just have these things already. And I'm not sure what the point of it all is, whatsoever. But there's got to be a point. And even if there isn't, I want to find out the hard way. Partly to know, and partly to feel.

"I believe it all is coming to an end.
Oh well, I guess we're gonna pretend.
Let's see how far we've come.
Let's see how far we've come."

I've just been looking in the wrong places. It's when you're not looking at all, I think that's when you find whatever it is you want, whatever it is you need. When you don't know, maybe even when you give up.

"I think you turn, turn the clock, but I don't really know.
And I can't remember caring for an hour or so."

I usually know when I'm wrong. Really wrong. I don't feel that right now. But I'm used to being wrong. In the wrong place. All that stuff. The thought of possibly getting something right? I don't know what to do with that. I wish I did, but I don't.

"Started crying and I couldn't stop myself,
I started running but there's nowhere to run to."

My desperation makes me fucking crazy when it finally shows up. But I can't change who I am to get what I want, or it won't be real. I know that, even if it's hard to remember.

"I sat down on the street, took a look at myself,
Said 'Where you going man? You know this world is headed for hell.'"

If I'm ever in the right place, if ever anything is actually right, all the stuff that people think is wrong with me, won't matter. I've seen that now.

"Say your goodbyes if you got someone you can say goodbye to."

And I like it.
paperscout: (Default)
Okay so I'm trying to get rid of a ton of stuff. DVDs, video games, books, stuff from Comic Con (2010), posters, electronics, etc etc. Thought I'd post everything here before I go to Craigslist and eBay, see if any of you guys are interested. I'm totally willing to ship any of this stuff, and I have tons of boxes so it would just be for the actual cost of shipping. Anyway, if you're interested please either leave me a comment or message me or ask for my email address. Please feel free to ask for details or pictures of anything. All comments will be screened not be screened cuz that was dumb lol.

ALSO, please note that ALL PRICES are completely NEGOTIABLE. I'm really just trying to get rid of stuff.

extensive list is extensive )
paperscout: ((glee) britt/san; rest your head)

I love how I can make a comment about how fucking annoyed I am that Santana pretty much got the shit beat out of her by Lauren on Glee and it was 100% played off as a joke (specifically because if Kurt so much as gets slushied/thrown in a dumpster/shoved into a locker/etc it's OMG END OF THE WORLD), and the immediate response I get is basically: "Yeah, but did you see what a bitch she was being?"

Aaaaand rant. But a thoughtful one. )
paperscout: (Default)
Snagged from [ profile] later_tuesday : List fifteen of your favorite characters from different fandoms, and ask people to spot patterns in your choices, if they're so inclined.

1. Faith Lehane [Buffy the Vampire Slayer]
2. John Connor [Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles]
3. Rachel Berry [Glee - only counts for s1 as I still haven't watched more]
4. Amy Pond [Doctor Who]
5. Brooke Davis [One Tree Hill]
6. Caroline Forbes [The Vampire Diaries]
7. Jaye Tyler [Wonderfalls]
8. Annie Edison [Community]
9. Topher Brink [Dollhouse]
10. Parker [Leverage]
11. Kenzi [Lost Girl]
12. Michael Guerrin [Roswell]
13. Dean Winchester [Supernatural]
14. Cara [Legend of the Seeker]
15. Claudia Donovan [Warehouse 13]

Note to self: Reading the instructions before posting is occasionally useful. JSYK.


Jan. 25th, 2011 12:55 pm
paperscout: ((vdiaries) caroline; pensive)


Tweeted with a picture of the Dwight Howard action figure I dorkily sent to the TVD production office. Tehe. I love that she bothered to track me down on Twitter to thank me. Granted, my name isn't that hard to figure out, but still. It was a very happy gleeful start to the day XD
paperscout: ((30 rock) liz; sneer)
Went ahead and watched the Parks and Rec season premiere. Damn that show has come a long ways since season one. I love it. If you aren't watching it, I highly recommend giving it a shot.

For Sally

Jan. 22nd, 2011 08:15 pm
paperscout: ((community) abed; "paintball bamf")

du nu nu nu nu nu nu nu BATMAN!
paperscout: ((btvs) willow & xander; "WTF")
Probably the weirdest thing I've seen in awhile. And her facial expressions kinda push it across the line into 'creepy.' Damn if it isn't a disturbingly catchy tune though.

 Also, just for clarification, when I say it's weird and creepy, I also mean it's kind of oddly awesome.
paperscout: ((community) britta; paintball yellow)
For pretty much the first time in the history of me having a LiveJournal (aka a long fucking time), I finally put a little bit of effort into making a profile. aka actually writing something there. So check it out if you have a chance! I think [ profile] greenhoodloxley  in particular will appreciate it XD

COMMUNITY IS BACK FROM HIATUS IN AN HOUR! RIGHT NOW!!! (I officially have no concept of time.)

Yes, I know it already aired in a lot of places, but Rachel Berry doesn't want you to rain on my parade.

I should probably go out and find some Glee friends who will understand this gif. Hrmph.

Right after I posted this an AWESOME Glee spoiler popped up in my flist! SO EXCITED! MUST CATCH UP!!!


Jan. 19th, 2011 12:25 pm
paperscout: ((community) lost; "lack of payoff")
None of the couples I've shipped in recent years have ended up (or will end up) together. Sometimes because they're all slashy and the shows just don't go there, but sometimes they're het and logical and still don't end up together. I think Roswell, Charmed, and Higher Ground (my first three non-kid favorite shows) were the only shows in which I strictly shipped canon pairings. Ever since then, as is true for many fangirls, my ships have gone straight to hell.

And I'm okay with that. It's what fandom is for, right? The slash stuff I totally understand not happening (especially because there's usually um, like no real indication of it in the shows), and even though I may get really angry about certain het pairings not happening in the show (*cough* Parker/Eliot *glareeee*), I'll live, and I still enjoy the show(s).

But if Brittana is not an endgame pairing, I am lighting my Glee DVDs on fire and throwing them over the wall onto the Paramount lot.


I read an interview with Heather Morris & Naya Rivera in which they said they're always trying to like, sit next to each other in the choir room scenes (even THEY want Brittana to happen, dammit!) but the directors keep making them sit next to other people. From what I've heard (cuz remember, I haven't watched this season and I FUCKING CAN'T WATCH TV TIL FEBRUARY -- which I may break for Glee cuz I'm terribly obsessing), the characters basically don't talk to each other anymore and never have scenes together. Yet they are supposed to be BFF. It's stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! And I have a feeling it's because they don't want to gay up the show too much........which makes absolutely no sense. It's all about Kurt. Kurt Kurt Kurt and his stupid bitchy self. I've grown to loathe Kurt. He was always a complete ASS to Rachel, but she's the character that always gets hated on by the other characters. Kurt can do no wrong. And he gets The Serious Storylines. Because he's gay. But (kinda secret) lesbians, no, that's perfectly fine to just make that a joke and then completely tear apart their storylines altogether. Glee is a comedy, I know. And if EVERYTHING was always jokes, that'd be one thing. But it's always srsbsns!Kurt and everyone else gets shit on.

Ugh this show makes me so ragey. As you all should know by now. Mostly because I can't fucking quit it. There is so much wrong with it and I just want to slap Ryan Murphy upside the head because I KNOW he's better than this, but at the same time it's Glee, and I can't help but love it, and love certain characters. 

The last time I had this sort of angry relationship with a show I wound up getting a tattoo for it. -.-

I leave you with a parting gif--
d'aww RL BFFs FTW

I just went off on a rant in the comments of [ profile] fandomsecrets that basically repeated everything I posted here and everyone who responded actually agrees with me. No one ever agrees with me on [info]fandomsecrets! Then again, most of my rants are about Eleven/Amy/Rory, so... o_O
paperscout: ((glee) group; "it's my life!")
I think I posted something about this briefly, but I realized recently that going to Starbucks was really the only thing I did every day, my only sense of routine. The last month of working a random schedule in retail, 6 months of semi-unemployment before that, some personal assisting, moving and traveling for a couple months, and even 3.5 years of randomly scheduled college classes, there really hasn't been any sort of routine in my life. In a lot of ways, that's great. But I think I need some sort of constant (and Daniel Faraday cannot be my constant since he's not actually real *cough*Lost joke*cough*), so apparently going to Starbucks was it. And it's been that more than actual coffee that I've been missing in these past couple weeks of going without (okay I had it once when I was so tired I thought I was going to die, but of course, caffeine has no impact on me anymore).

So I'm trying to think of something new I can do every day. "Write" is the obvious choice, but I think I need something more specific than that in order to make myself stick to it. Even like, "write a fan fic drabble" or "write really bad poetry" or something. But I haven't decided what. Ideally a really strong writing habit will build from that, because obviously, that's what I need. I just...need to find a way to get there. Or maybe not even something specific at all, but just that I have to write and post one thing for accountability each day (not on this LJ, don't worry. I already post enough as it is haha). Maybe for like 30 days, or 60 or 100, in a row. Just to DO it. I've gotten pretty decent at taking things away from myself, but now I need to deal with building new habits on top of that.

I don't think this is really the kind of thing where I can ask for suggestions, but hey, if for some reason anyone has some, let me know lol

if only!

Jan. 17th, 2011 01:00 pm
paperscout: ((lots) hand + sword; "seeker")
Today at work, I was in the stock room when someone called over the walkie talkies that Richard Pfeiffer was on the phone to place an order. This kid I work with turned to the guy next to him and said, "Did he say Richard Cypher? As in the seeker of truth?" which was, of course, EXACTLY what I was thinking at the time.

I have located someone at this job worth making friends with.

Completely unrelated sidenote: I have no respect for people who watermark their fucking icons. Yes, icon making is hard work. I've done it, I know. And credit is a wonderful thing and should be given. But let's face it, 99.9% of the time, you do NOT own the image(s) you are using to make an icon. You have no more claim to it than the people using it. It's rude and inconsiderate for people not to credit you when you ask, but seriously? Watermarking all your icons? Chill.
paperscout: ((harper's) group; "scooby gang")
Snagged from [ profile] later_tuesday 

Name a character from one of my fandoms and I'll give you:
a) a fact about them from my personal canon
b) a reason he/she sucks
c) a reason he/she is amazing
d) a thing that I'd like to see happen to them
e) someone that I can't ship that character with

Applicable fandoms:  Whedonverse, Lost Girl, Legend of the Seeker, TSCC, Community, Supernatural, Glee, The Vampire Diaries, Doctor Who (series 5+), Leverage, BSG, One Tree Hill (early seasons), Roswell, Charmed (first 6 seasons), Warehouse 13, Higher Ground, Animorphs, Harper's Island, Smallville (early seasons)

Poll time!

Jan. 14th, 2011 03:19 pm
paperscout: ((vdiaries) caroline/elena; outside)
I don't expect many answers to this poll, but I'm curious all the same.[Poll #1668033]I'm trying to decide if I want to make a separate journal for this kind of stuff, hence the questions. I was always super paranoid about my fan fic being attached to my name for some reason, even though I don't write porn (or haven't yet at least haha), and I'm getting back into LJ fan fic memes and such lately, so.... Anyway, just wondering what most people tend to do for this sort of thing.
paperscout: ((community) britta; apprehensive)
So...apparently our astrological signs have changed? Or something weird like that? Apparently I'm a Virgo now (which actually sounds more plausible than me being a Libra in several aspects). This is weird, idgi.

Linkity link.
paperscout: ((zombieland) wichita; gun)
Just spent way more time than I'm willing to admit researching the best vehicles to survive the (probably zombie) apocalypse. Which kind of begs the question....why don't people just snag a boat, live at least a little bit off the coast, and idk, like snag some supplies here and there when possible? Am I missing something? Can zombies swim? This seems like a reasonable solution to me.
paperscout: (Default)
Slept through the switch from 2010 to 2011. (Like a boss? Errrr no.) Phone died. Still haven't gotten up to find the charge cord. Will post something more coherent, relevant, and likely with more words later.


paperscout: (Default)

April 2011

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